Music XI: Highschool Lover

That feeling when you're driving down a long empty road with miles and miles of fields on either side and your face is nearly pressed against the car window and you're looking out at it all and you see no end or beginning all you know is that the sun shining on you is all you got going and all you ever need.

Love should be that simple. This is what love should feel like. Close your eyes and I promise you'll feel the sun, Highschool Lover.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KSKn68HYpYo

It's All White

It's raining again.
This time it's in my mind.
And it's coming down so thick I can barely see through the wall of droplets.
The light is reflecting off them - through them.
And all I see is a blinding light that's reflecting right back at me.
There is no indication of what I am about to walk in to.
It's all white.

White.

I enter through it with closed eyes.
Unafraid of what is going to come but afraid of what I might leave behind.
I'm not sure that i've brought it all with me.
The rain may have washed some of it away...

I can see the white even though my eyelids shield my pupils with a thin layer of darkness.
It still shines through - it's that strong.
I'm not sure I can handle what i'm about to see.
My eyelids flutter...

It's a new beginning.

It's all white.

White.

Fog Before The Storm.

That sick feeling is in my stomach again   -    It always comes before a storm.
Dark and unforgiving   -   the clouds rush back that aren't so warm.
A fear. It lives in every part of me   -   I'm afraid to move too fast.
It's the thought of losing more again   -   I hate letting go of the past.
Somethings just never wash away...

little child

Running round this house

& he never leaves.

He will never leave.

& the fog comes up from the sewers

& glows in the dark

Baby alligators in the sewers grow up fast

Anything you want it can be done

How did you go bad?

Did you go bad?

Somethings will never wash away...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wWucA7e-LRg

Music X: Something I Can Never Have

I still recall the taste of your tears.
< < Echoing > >  your voice just like the  [ [ ringing ] ]  in my ears.
My favorite dreams of you still wash ashore.
Scraping through my head 'till I don't want to sleep anymore.

You make this all go away.
I'm down to just one thing.
& I'm starting to scare myself.
You make this all go away.

I just want something....
              I just want something I can never have.

You always were the one to show me how.
Back then I couldn't do the things that I can do now.
This thing is slowly taking me apart.
Grey would be the color if I had a heart.
Come on tell me...

In this place it seems like such a shame.
Though it all looks different now - I know it's still the same.

Everywhere I look you're all I see.
Just a fading fucking reminder of who I used to be.

                 I Just Want Something I Can Never Have.

A Trip Down the Rabbit Hole

Everything depends on our frame of mind.

Certain realms of our mind go unlocked, unless you embark on a trip down the rabbit hole.......

http://www.cowboybooks.com.au/html/acidtrip1.html

I Wanna Take You Higher

Everything that is going on in this performance...
what it all means...
what it stands for...
its context...
its energy...
perfectly encapsulates what goes on in all muscle fibres when one hears great music. This performance vibrates the soul of whoever experiences it.
It embodies the desperation for a good feeling.

Live Fearlessly and Lovingly

The one thing we can take from death is the lesson to live fearlessly and lovingly.

It is cowardly to die along with those who have passed over. It simply does not make sense to.


There is only one difference between the living and the dead:
and it is that the living still have the opportunity to continue to grow and experience.
I cannot say that I understand why anyone in this world would want to give that up.


Let the dead value the gift of life too so that they can live on through you...


but it is so important to go on living that much better and that much more lovingly knowing that you are carrying them in your hearts forever. 


The love in your hearts is all you need to carry you through each day.
You know it's in there.
Feel it and keep walking forward.

Everybody Knows It's A Charade

"This is another paradox,

that many of the most important impressions and thoughts in a person's life are the ones that >>flash>> through your head so fast that fast isn't even the right word,

they seem totally different from or outside of the regular sequential clock time we all live by, and they have so little relation to the sort of linear, one-word-after-another-word English we all communicate with each other with that it could easily take a whole lifetime just to spell out the contents of one >>split-second's flash>> of thoughts and connections, etc.

- and yet we all seem to go around trying to use English (or whatever language our native country happens to use, it goes without saying) to try to convey to other people what we're thinking and to find out what they're thinking,

when in fact deep down everybody knows it's a charade and they're just going through the "motions."

What goes on inside is just too fast and huge and all interconnected for words to do more than barely sketch the outlines of at most one tiny little part of it at any given instant."

-David Foster Wallace

Tragedy

I love you so much.

I'm gunna let you

kill me.

There's a ghost in my lungs

& it sighs in my sleep.

Wraps itself around my tongue

as it softly speaks.

Then it walks - then it walks with my legs

to fall

to fall

to fall

to fall

to fall

at your feet.

-F&tM

I Am God

There once was a girl

Who knew everything that was wrong

& wished nothing more but to make it right…

She would day dream about the clouds and how their vastness could open up her brain

To a place where she could think and see miles away from her with no end in sight.

The end was near - it seemed

& she thought about what it must be like…

…To feel her soul leaking out of her limbs.

Would she be worthless?

She already is.

Right here as she exists on earth.

No one could bring her to that heaven where the sky runs high and the earth lies far far below.

That’s where she wants it to be.

But she belongs here.

Far

     Far

           Below.