SHE lays in HER bed.
in a dark room.
with HER bedside lamp on, looking up at the ceiling.
SHE turns HER face to the light.
and sees HER childhood best friend laying there.
Lifeless.
SHE secretly still believes that this best friend comes to life when SHE is not looking.
How could one believe that a stuffed wool toy has no soul? Nonsense! SHE will forever believe that Lambchop, HER best friend, is here to listen to all HER troubles.
But the magical thing is that all Lambchop has to do...
is lay there.
Lifeless.
and she makes all troubled things better.
SHE picks up her Lambchop with her arms stretched out and looks at it square in the face.
Lambchop is sticking her tongue out at HER, like she has been for the past 19 years.
SHE puts her finger in Lambchop's mouth like SHE always did when she was little to make her pretend talk.
They. have shared so many secrets.
Life long secrets that have been locked up under bed covers for two decades.
Two whole decades of secrets.
And SHE is not ready to let go of Lambchop.
SHE pleads for the innocence that SHE once had....
....When SHE first scooped up Lambchop with HER open arms, and Lambchop's open arms...
SHE knew that Lambchop was waiting there for HER all along. At the St. Lawrence market.
Both doll & LITTLE GIRL.
Ready to embrace each other's lives.
Together.
Forever.
Through good.
And bad.
And neglect.
And somehow, the neglect that Lambchop experienced for a number of years did not do a number on her.
Because here SHE is. With HER Lambchop.
And SHE knows her best friend is still listening.
And sticking out her tongue at HER life.
And Lambchop just sits there.
Absorbing every tear that falls from HER face into her white wool body.
Holding within her a reservoir of tears.
She could float away if she wanted to.
But SHE doesn't want her to. ...So Lambchop stays.
SHE presses Lambchop to HER chest and squeeeeeezes the tiny doll that once was a perfect size for HER, and quitely sings:
"This is the life that I never want to end."
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