The Eyes of a Stranger

It was basically a bad day.

I didn't know it was going to rain so I wore my suede-fur boots. My feet were SOAKED the entire day. I forgot my umbrella.

All these fall sweater and under shirt layers get to me after a while...I think that's why I always get depressed this time of year.

- I'm always:

• Covering my head up with hoods so I can't think. 
• Covering my neck up till I can't speak.
• Covering my feet up in the wrong shoes so that each step I take feels heavier and heavier
• Along with the heavy school bag on my back that makes my muscles cold, tight and sore.

The only highlight of that day was my African-Canadian literature class because of the professor. Taking this class was the best fluke decision I made this year. By the time I leave the 3 hour lecture from 6 to 9 on Tuesday nights, I'm between a world of utter exhaustion from the day that started at 6 and a world of whirling thoughts and ideas. I've never met a man like him in my life before. He is so passionate about what he teaches that sometimes i have to hold back my tears and rub my arms to flatten the goose bumps. I wish I could carry him around my pocket so I could get this riled up about my thoughts all the time. Its rare that it happens to me nowadays.

But anyway, I'm feeling crabby walking to the subway after the class finishes at 9, and I'm soaked and tired but my mind is a contained firecracker underneath the hood that's covering me from the firecracker rain drops dancing on the top of my head. I’m feeling so miserable because my boots are still sopping wet. I get on the crammed subway and something really weird happens….

Music V: Downside Up

"This is essentially a kid's story...

but at one point the world turns upside down and you have to imagine

 lying on a field of grass and looking up at the sky long enough 

that you start to see the sky as down as an ocean below you. 

That is the state:  

D O W N S I D E   U P"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WZ2hY6Fetw0

This performance put my mind downside up.

Enjoy.

This post is dedicated to Sandra C.

All Or Nothing

The Beamer & I.

Out of all the songs i could have recorded and sang, i'm glad it was one with such raw and beautiful lyrics.

All or Nothing...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DytiigR-PSU

* Read the attached lyrics

The Pursuit Of Happiness

There are fri-ends.

and then there are friends.

I've got a bunch of friends, but only a few that i can really call FRIENDS.

I met up with one of my FRIENDS and it had been a while since we caught up. There's catching up.

and there's   C    A   T C HING UP^^. 

and i mean that this FRIEND of mine isn't afraid to  C    A   T CH UP^.

and i love him so much because he isn't afraid to cut himself open and show you his guts, ya know?

Some of the people i love are afraid of this (as i'm sure many people in the world are) but i think i can say that i truly see through the people that put their guard up to the world.

Some people look at the world and think like this:

- everything sucks

- nothing is working out

- i hate him

- im jealous of her

- leave me alone!

- ughhh

- this is so goddamn boring.

- when will this end?...

- This life isn't good enough

and then there are people that look at the world and think like this:

- everything is great!

- everything is working out alright 

- we have our differences but i appreciate him in my life

- i wish i could be her, she's wonderful

- i don't like being lonely, let's chat

- wow!

- this is unbearably amazing

- i hope this doesn't end!...

- This life is too good to be true

What kind of person do you want to be?

Speaking Through Art: Part V - Film

I really enjoy film for the main reason that it incorporates so many of my favourite things into one.

Cinematography.
      Music.
             Acting.
         Writing.

But i think the most important out of all of these features of film is the writing. 

the  s c r i p t. 

Script to me isn't solely about the monologue of a character or dialogue between characters.


A well fabricated script, to me, is the +marriage+ - between - the dialogue and the cinematography. Audiences that are oblivious to certain marriages like these in films are not appreciating film for all that it has to offer. 

Speaking Through Art: Part IV - Sound of Music continued...

There is music...
an then there is music as  a r t.


I think there is a  -  difference  -  between the two. 


There are songs that you can listen to, sing along and relate to...

& then there are those that completely consume you that you can't help but become a part of it.

All That You Are

To have pity towards someone is to look down on them.
To have pity is to feel sorry for that person.

This video I want to share with you really shines a light on the direction i want to go in life.

I hope it does the same for you.



..and when you watch it, the only person I want you to have pity for is yourself.


Because if you got 2 arms and 2 legs and you don't act the way this beautiful man does right here,

then thats completely pitiful on your part!

Love 

yourself 

and 

all 

that 

you 

are.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gc4HGQHgeFE

Speaking Through Art: Part III - Sound of Music

I spent a desperately needed long weekend at my best friends cottage and finally got the chance to clear my head and think of a few things. A cottage is always a perfect and quiet place to do these kind of things, and i really got myself thinking about SOUND. 

I woke up on the Sunday morning at 7:30 am and the weirdest thing happened. 

Most of the time i have BAD cases of writers block but when i don't, my brain can spill out more stuff than niagara falls. When these moments do occur i HAVE to get everything out as soon as possible because i'm afraid my brain will close up again. So...

on my blackberry after 5 minutes of waking up, i wrote a 800 word write up about sound in complete silence. 

Ironic isn't it?

Speaking Through Art: Part I - Dance

Communication with words. The mouth. The lips. The tongue. The breath....

 Is never enough for me. 

I'm not good at it...writing either. Nowadays it is so difficult for me to cram my thoughts, emotions and experiences into words. It's all too simple. It's all so generic. I don't want to follow standards and rules anymore when it comes to communication. It's all so boring. 

How about all you people reading my blog right now? Would reading paragraphs and paragraphs of my thoughts be more appealing to you than actually seeing and experiencing examples of what I mean? That's my main goal for my blog. I want to draw you people in on what goes on in my head,

using more than words.

Using ART.

...

I was born a fetus....and still am one.

People seem to always be completely baffled when i tell them that i am 19.

It normally follows with a:

-jaw drop

-wide eyes

-accompanied with a "huh!?!?" expression

because they normally think that i'm 12 when they see me. like...ACTUALLY 12.


I get offended half the time by it but the other half of me doesn't really care. Because whether i like it or not - that's who i am.


I think a part of me will forever be juvenile. Not just in my looks but how i act too. I choose to act that way because i have fun doing it. I don't act immature, just....juvenile at times. I have gone through many scary "grown up" situations that one would think to make me some serious and depressed 19 year old adult. But whats the fun in that?! I've learned from those experiences. I have built the strong core i need and then proceed to having my fun most of the time.


No offence to all you adults out there.....but i'm in no rush to grow up. I'm sure many people close to me have heard me say:

"I NEVER WANT TO GROW UP. I WANT TO LIVE IN NEVER NEVER LAND WITH PETER PAN"

Well.......it's true folks! During my grade twelve year i had an extremely hard time accepting the fact that i was leaving high school and actually had to start turning into an adult. I still am having a hard time. 

Deciding which road i want to go down when i see none made with yellow bricks, isn't such an easy decision to make........until recently - when i got my new summer job:

Working with kids.